The 6th paaramii, or perfection which in a lot of ways everyone knows the value of, and from a Buddhist perspective it is mindful acceptance of the moment for what, and how it is.
While on retreats I have had plenty of time to practice patience, although there was an externalization of the object, things others done, and I found myself disliking one of the retreatants their with me, I had never talked to them, or anything all I knew was they done things I found annoying, but one day I decided not to do the dishes as I had washed them or dried them several times, so I was in a situation this person was in not having a specific job to do, so I ended up doing the things this person had done, which when they done it “I” didn’t like but when “I” done them “I” found it necessary, so understanding of the situation, of why they done these things arose, I grew patient with their task, with what they were there for, and at that time it was to help me develop patience.
Understanding or should I say Upright Perspective is one of the Noble Eightfold path, specifically the Wisdom training section of the path, and comes about through reflecting upon life through the lens of the Four Noble Truths.
While I have practised walking meditation something came to me, which later expanded, so I though I was wrong, however. after a conversation with a Bhikkhu, think I was right, I just started to understand it better, but through doubt stepped away from it. It occurred to me that, meditation, life even is pointing to The Four Noble Truths, and they can be simplified into 1. This is how it is, 2. It is because of our perceptions and attachment, 3. This is how it could be, 4. This is how to make it possible. Their isn’t proper understanding if there is unnecessary bits thrown in, just like if you are preparing soil for plants you sieve the soil to remove the stones, the stones aren’t needed, this is like proper concentration, disrupted focus on a object, removing what is unnecessary to requirements, and that is what I was doing on the retreat, removing unnecessary distractions such as TV, two much food, books, conversations, all the bits which are not necessary for me to realise the truth to understand how things are.
Cooperation and supportive behaviour is friendly behaviour, being nice, but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, hopefully only rarely. Friendliness is actually a better translation for Metta than the common "Loving Kindness" phrase,
One of my favourite sutta’s is MN 58 Abhaya Sutta To Prince Abhaya (On Right Speech) where a Prince attempts to disgrace the Buddha, with the advise from a Brahmin, however, the Buddha’s answer wasn’t anticipated so the Prince saw the True meaning of friendship, as-well as the real way to use speech.
I believe real friendship, and real Metta is shown in this sutta. The sutta uses a baby with something it shouldn’t have in its mouth, which would need removing, 'EVEN' if it caused the child harm doing so, leaving it in would cause greater harm, or even death, so Metta IS doing what is best, out of concern, a wish for the safety of all Equally, a Desire for ALL TO BE HAPPY, Free from suffering, and at peace.
I believe this quality of forgiveness is taken to Glibly, that it is always another who seeks forgiveness and we can either accept, or not, and this is true for allot of situations, but for many situations, when we are more inclined to decline the apology we need to forgive ourselves, for little more than being ourselves, with ego and attachment, we think we can do things when we can’t, we expect allot from ourselves at times and with things to be different, a past situation to be different, and we need to forgive ourselves in these situations, for our own limitation, then real forgiveness or acceptance of an apology can happen.